Dealing with loneliness
Social distancing and self-isolating might have made you feel lonely. But it is absolutely okay to be alone. I Just saw a video of Fr. Mike Schmitz from Ascension presents (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCVdGX3N-WIJ5nUvklBTNhAw ) in which he talks about silence and its importance. He said- Silence is our heavenly fathers’ nature. Silence is the path to seek and pray to God and it is also a way to realize ourselves even more deeply. Is silence and loneliness connected? I don’t know, I am not sure. I would say I am silent at the most when I am lonely. Given below is the list of things that I love to do/the things I wish to do when I am lonely. But more often all these things end up in a tragic way. I like to honest with the things I do. No one is perfect and we all make mistakes. We might start something as a brand-new decision and often end up as a disaster.
1. LONELINESS IS A DELUSION
The first thing I do to get away loneliness is making myself belief that loneliness doesn’t exist. I think I am pretty much belief this concept now. Loneliness is described as a situation where we are not surrounded by anyone and our mind is blanked. As for me, the situation mentioned above is an opportunity to have a small chit-chat with myself. A time to be with your soul, a moment to get to know who you really are. Talking it in a more spiritual way, the state of loneliness is the time when you engage in a talk with your heavenly father, our creator. That level of spiritually is not easily accessible and it takes a good amount of time. and so, there is no such thing as loneliness. It is a vacuum that we create ourselves in the midst of the challenges that we face in our life.
2. COMPARISON (FROM THE PRESENT ‘YOU’ TO THE FUTURE ‘YOU’)
Once you are into the concept of loneliness doesn’t exist you will find time for yourself. You will probably sit in your couch or lay down in your bed thinking- what I have been doing all these years? What I have become? Did I grow or shrink? It is normal to have these thoughts. Think about it. Make a comparison. Not with others but with yourself. Compare the present ‘you’ with the future person that you aspire to become. You might have got some goals, you might have figured out some challenges that you are facing, you might have realized the importance of some decision that you have made, and you might draft a plan. Go for it and work it out.
At some worst point we might get this impression that we are not going to make it and we worth nothing. I always get this feeling that I worth nothing and I don’t deserve anything. Actually, it is the worst thing to do. You are worth everything. you are worthy to god that we gave his only son, Jesus Christ so that you can have an eternal life with him. The challenges we get, the suffering we have are catalysts that help us to become strong and goal driven, or they are the ways that helps us to get closer with god. I have heard many people saying, if god loves us why did he let us suffer? Is suffering wrong? Is it not normal? I think the great man and god who suffered the most is Jesus. And when we have suffering, it is an invitation to take part with him. God loves us so much and he will never give us something that we cannot bear. Accept the suffering, offer it to god, cherish it and I know it sounds so hard. But in the end, our suffering will bear fruit.
I don’t know why but I am getting this impression that I went off track. Anyways do you still think loneliness is a bad thing? Well I don’t. For me it doesn’t exist. Each time when you try to fill your loneliness with some music or a movie you are missing these opportunities.
And its never too late to start a new.